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Joe Duley

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Marriage and The Bachelor

Marriage and The Bachelor

Watching The Bachelor is tantamount to getting a root canal from a drunken Edward Scissorhands (with Freddy Krueger as the dental hygienist – both gacked out on an opium jag.)

KrAzY and not fun.

I’m all about fun and frolic and have a healthy relationship with my good humored wife.

Thankfully, I’m a happily married man; but marriage has its challenges.

Admittedly, my wife and I occasionally have a little argument  here and there (like most normal couples). But nothing major.

And honestly, we’ve never gone to bed mad at each other (nor woken up angry.)

We’ve never even had any major blow-outs (in public or private.)

Occasionally there may be a “discussion” about dishes not being done properly.

Or a spat about my inability to dry my hands after I wash them.

Perhaps a grumble about me not knowing what the broom is actually used for – or a scolding about committing the crying sin of stealing my wife’s pillows at night…but nothing major.

We get along pretty damn well…EXCEPT Monday nights from 8:00PM until 10:01 PM EST (when The Bachelor is polluting the airwaves!)

For the life of me, I.CAN.NOT.UNDERSTAND.HOW.SHE.CAN.WATCH.THE BACHELOR!!!

Seriously!

My wife is beautiful, intelligent, tolerant, and possess a great sense of humor, and “gets me” (which is no easy task) BUT for the life of me, I don’t get it.

Look at that show! One MUST make fun of that show for the duration of its run!

My wife gets a little miffed when I make fun of the “stars” of The Bachelor, or when I suggest the producers give the Bimbi a F’n thesaurus to learn other words for “awesome.” Then my wife banishes me to the bedroom (where I make barnyard noises when as The Bachelor or the host try to speak without using the word “incredible” in every other sentence.)  Both are such a tools!

And how can a man hook-up with twenty-eight women, suck face with all of them, bed a few, and not even get a yeast infection?

Reality TV my ass!

Oh, one more thing host Chris Harrison…it’s not “everything was going so good.”

Good is an adjective. Well is an adverb.

You should have said “everything was going well.”

Soon enough, everything will go well! (At 10:01PM EST when the show is finally over.)

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